Jew’s Internet History Part 1: Before TeH Internet
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I haven’t slept in a good three days and I’ve had at least 12 pots of coffee in those past 72 hours. So I’m wired and itching to do something constructive. Failing to do that, I found myself reminiscing of the old days of the Internet, back when Jasonrivera.com was still offering free HIV and bodypaint, Cdogg was someone important, and nobody had ever heard of a Foodhater or a Nude Smurf. Boy, things have changed. I’m sure if your one of the four people that used to frequent TMCS, you probably weren’t around back when the site was actually known as cactuschris.com, or even further back, when it was hosted on a crappy freeservers account and was known as cactuschris.8m.com. I guess to get a full grasp of the history, I should start from the beginning. This will also answer all of those questions I receive, like “wuts E&A dot com?” and “dood u hav a website?”

prethi
“The Flyin’ Jew has a weakness of +4 fire dmg but gets an extra combat roll during dance recitals. The Flyin’ Jew enjoys the obscure, and can find humor in almost anything.”

Waaaay back in 1998, when E-Feds were still popular, A close friend of mine going by the internet handle of “Cactus Chris” decided to start one, and it was hosted on expage.com, a site that lets you make single page web pages with ease. Cactus had next to no experience with Adobe Photoshop or HTML at the time, so he was amazed at how easy it was to build a website. This lead to the spawning of expage.com/cactuschris. Having absolutely no content, it was still enough to spark his interest in web design. To help put the timing in perspective, we were both still on AOL at the time. Cactus stayed up countless nights figuring things out for himself and doing research into web design, and eventually stumbled upon freeservers.com, my future hell.

My home life has always been a wreck. By now I had ended up living with Cactus and his family, and one night after RAW, we were googling “HHH pedigreeing Stephanie McMahon and her titties popping out” and lo and behold, Jasonrivera.com was at the top of the list, and the site definitely delivered, with crude pictures taken of Riv’s TV. I had immediately fallen in love with the site’s fucked up humor and eye for nostalgia, and eventually read everything the site had to offer, and posted on the site’s forums as my E-Fed and early Backyard Wrestling character: “Dr. Imp”. Cactus really didn’t seem too interested at the time.

With the help of funky-chickens.com, work continued on what became cactuschris.8m.com and it’s sister site, chrislayman.8m.com. Originally more of an in-joke, the focus of the two sites at the time was to prove that Christopher Andrew Layman and Cactus Chris were indeed two separate people, which is of course true to this day. In fact I haven’t seen Chris Layman in years. I think he died or something. After C.A.L.’s death, Cactuschris.8m.com took on a new direction. It featured small articles with the opinions and observations of Cactus, as well as his friends and relatives. That’s actually where this Jew got his start, with a little bit about Duck Hunt being a murder simulator. It’s also around the time that I started going under the name “The Flyin’ Jew.”

I thought this looked so cool when I was a teenager.

Freeservers fever caught on, and the writers of Cactuschris.8m.com started their own sites: Flyinjew.8m.com, handofnod.8m.com, and darkhouseanime.8m.com. Heading up the flyinjew.8m.com site, I was joined by another real life friend, Sean Scully (under HIS Backyard Wrestling moniker of “Irish Baztard”), who was an even shittier writer than myself. He didn’t write much, and when he did it was usually about four sentences long. The site tried to focus on full articles, and featured the character of Dr. Imp pretending to be a separate writer, as well as cameos by the Green Goblin, Fred Durst, and the Nemesis from Resident Evil 3.

Darkhouseanime.8m.com didn’t feature writing, instead focusing on the art of Megan Lahey. I think this might be the only site still functioning out of the original freeservers bunch. I had heard she was looking for new hosting, but friends grow apart, or go insane and become social shut-ins, so you lose touch. Handofnod.8m.com was centered around ANOTHER real life friend, Kyle Richards (using the name “B Movie Guru”) and his obsession with his hair. He was joined by Ratman, Weasel, and Dave. The site featured the same kind of small opinions and observations that Cactuschris.8m.com first had, as well as a page dedicated to high school history teacher/war veteran, Mr. Odom, and a page about conspiracy theories.

Flyinjew.8m.com and handofnod.8m.com worked closely together, often featuring each other’s work or doing joint projects. Handofnod.8m.com always was more successful, however. By now “Dr.Imp” had long been absent from the jasonrivera.com forums, considering I often lacked internet, depending on where I lived at the time, and in a strange plot twist, Cactus had become staff on the main site and urged me to re-register for “tough enough”, a game that was going on between the forumers.

Professional amateur web design.

I had quickly made enemies with some, due to my constant whoring of my terrible site and immaturity at the time (I was like, sixteen years old). Cactus bought cactuschris.com, but it only linked back to the freeservers site initially. He also discovered proboards.com, and it wasn’t long before cactuschris.com had it’s own forums, with a cool but unfitting matrix theme. Somehow I ended up doing a joint article with Riv. A mock interview with Stone Cold Steve Austin, and too this day I think it was the only worthwhile thing on flyinjew.8m.com.

Soon after, Cactuschris.com turned into toomanychairshots.com, Cactus got himself an invisionboard and some real hosting, and cactuschris.8m.com and the clones that it spawned were laid to rest. B Movie Guru and myself moved over. I had now completely embraced the mantle of The Flyin’ Jew and wrote many pieces for this new website, although most of the content didn’t mesh well with the Professional Wrestling theme at the time.

Due to usual forum politics, two thirds of the jasonrivera.com forumers left to start their own boards. This led to the IHATEFOOD and MaroonX proboards.I posted at both for a while. So sue me. This is where I met the first THI staff member Al (foodhater). Eventually MaroonX admin Marion bought an invisionboard and eventually made a site. Before the great website merger that laid the groundwork for EandN.net much later in this story, it had only updated twice. IHF spawned about thirteen more clone proboards, all of which are rather unimportant, Another prevalent forum called The Inner Circle was destroyed by a mysterious force, sending it’s members over to jasonrivera.com, and TMCS was mildly successful.

Stupid anime crap and web design have ALWAYS gone hand in hand with me.

Many forumnams and invasions later, TMCS and MX were pretty dead, jasonrivera.com became hugeinternetsuperstars.com, and people still didn’t care about IHF and it’s cloneboards. IHF started a site that is pretty much just a giant link to the forum, and then for some retarded reason they ousted the site’s creator, foodhater. At the time I had no idea how you could be kicked off of your own website. Joke’s on me, I suppose. I had been talking to Marion from MaroonX about starting up flyinjew.com, and had become rather good friends with him. An idea or two were tossed around, but nothing really happened for a while. I decided take the site in a different direction. Instead of a “insert my name here” site, I wanted to create something that would focus on the articles more than the staff.

But that’s a story for Part 2…