(Not) Marvel Vs. Capcom 2
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We all know I am a proud member of the fighting game community. I know I may not be the best there is at what I do. I have never entered a serious tournament, and I don’t fare well in X-Box Live Ranked Matches in most games. I still love the genre, however. My Firefox homepage is permanently set to Shoryuken.com, I know what Evo Moment #37 is, and I feel no embarrassment about throwing the term “Vanilla” around when talking about things that aren’t even flavored. I am familiar with Pringles, Curleh mustaches, and scoops of Hagen-Daz.

Simply put, I enjoy fighting games, and hold them in a very high regard. I enjoy spending my free time gossiping about Wednesday Night Fights with friends, watching shaky cam game play footage of new games, and reading detailed analysis of tier lists from top players.

Some other things that are common knowledge about me include my rampant, shameless Capcom Fanboyism and my experience with the Freeware M.U.G.E.N. engine. Also, the Marvel Vs. series are some of my favorite games. This won’t be a fun article to write.

While browsing the information super highway for a certain piece of software for an upcoming article, I came across a curious little file that was begging to be checked out. It was a M.U.G.E.N. compilation, obviously, which isn’t an uncommon thing to find. Being a Freeware engine with plenty of “pick and pack” content all over the web to choose from, you will often see people packing up their own compilations of other people’s work and passing it off as their own. Sometimes you even find people trying to sell the mash-up, as if they’ve created their own copyright nightmare from scratch.

What DID make this unusual, however, was the fact that it was named “Marvel Vs. Capcom 2.5”. I had to know what this was immediately. the “2.5” suggests that this would be Marvel 2 with extra content, yet the M.U.G.E.N. programmer that I claim to be knows damn well that the limitations of the engine simply will not allow that to happen. Best case scenario I can gut the thing and add some cool new stuff to my own M.U.G.E.N. game… Worst case scenario I eat the rest of the Xanax that I’ve been saving for a rainy day.

Before even starting the game, I see some odd things already. For starts, we get a very pointless, and incorrect warning…

…Followed by an image of the “republisher’s” logo, a five second .AVI file of the aforementioned logo, and a list of other games that this person has worked on. A quick google search of this “Wounami”, the creator’s name, brings up their YouTube page. Oh man, this does NOT look promising…

I boot the game up, wait an incredibly long time with a black screen as everything loads, go into the options menu to customize my button layout for Joystick, go to save my settings, and the game crashes. I haven’t even started playing yet, and things are already fucking up. Poor performance, indeed.

The mode select is also a nightmare. “arcade” and “vs” should be enough. What the hell is “Arcade Special”? “Special 2P VS”? What the hell? Going to the character select screen we are greeted with… oh Jesus Christ…

I was expecting all of the classic guys such as Captain Commando and Venom to return, of course…

…and was especially delighted to see some new faces such as Megaman Zero and that bitch Jean Grey.

However, I think Sub-Zero and Superman are stretching things a bit, considering they are the exact opposite of “Marvel” and “Capcom”.

You don’t agree? How about Robert Garcia from KOF squaring off against The Ninja Turtle’s nemesis Master Shredder?

Or for a hyper combo of absolute confusion, try Tatsunoko’s Tekkaman Vs. Link from The Legend of Zelda on for size.

Oh but the wackiness doesn’t stop there, folks! Other new additions to the MVC cast include Naruto, Vegita from Dragonball Z, Various Samurai Showdown fighters, Motherfucking BATMAN, Lion-O from Thundercats, and yes, the actual Ninja Turtles. The fighters aren’t even coded to follow the MVC ruleset. KOF guys use four buttons and can roll or use blowback attacks, some Marvel and Capcom guys use the Six-Button standard from early Vs. games, while others use the Four-Button layout from MVC2. Other guys don’t really follow any rhyme or reason, and instead do whatever they want. Most fighters can’t even SuperJump or perform air combos. Hell, most of the STAGES aren’t even SuperJump compatable! Trying to do so on such a level will have your Character’s sprite fly off the top of the screen, coming down in some other random location, completely disrupting the flow of gameplay.

I decided to run through Team Arcade mode to really get into the meat of things, but there is no tag function whatsoever. I know M.U.G.E.N. isn’t capable of this “out of the box”, but plenty of people have figured out ways of making this function, at least in a 2 man format. The way it is now, both characters are onscreen at the same time, with the CPU controlling the second guy. Further breaking the MVC format, fights are two rounds. Cyclops kept BLOWING THE SCREEN UP before I really had a chance to do anything, however.

What the fuck are you doing, man?

Switching gears, I tried regular Arcade mode, and man, the glitches were epic. Because most of the stages aren’t made for Vs. styled gameplay, moves that would cause things like flying screen make the characters do weird things, like dash in place, or get stuck to the ground. I was also able to attack, and sometimes even kill characters before the round even started. The A.I. is also incredibly retarded, often repeatedly falling for sweeps in the corner even on the highest difficulties, and people who bitch about Street Fighter IV having input shortcuts are going to cut their wrists if they play this game. I was able to repeatedly do Magneto’s E.M. Disruptor (a half-circle forward motion, normally) by mashing back, then forward and punch.

Magneto has perfected the Gravimetric Moonwalk, while Ruby Heart shows off her Reverse Worm.

Magnetic Shockwave is the fastest way to win the game, as it’s coded to drag the opponent all the way to the end of the screen, yet that flying screen bug mentioned above actually causes it to drag the opponent ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE ENTIRE LEVEL, instead. By getting a single bar and purposely cornering yourself, you basically have an insta-kill attack. Yipes would be proud. In fact, it was so bad that after seeing Amingo decimated in this fashion, Psylocke chose to not even fight, instead falling to the ground and having a seizure before the announcer even finished his sentence.

What is this I don’t even.

Making it to the end of the game rewards me with… The game crashing again, which is fine by me. I’m pretty much done with this hackjob of a “game”. The “creator” of this “game” should be shot, but not before being commended for at least doing more bug testing than your average Electronic Arts employee.

I have never been so sure of anything in my life, Microsoft.