(Not) Mega Man: Robot Master Mayhem
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In the year 20XX the evil Dr. Wily decided to be a dick and try to take over the world with a bunch of robots. Another scientist named Dr. Light wasn’t having any of that doucehbaggery, and built his own robot to fuck Wily’s shit up. That robot was Megaman: One of gaming’s greatest icons.

The original Megaman game wasn’t incredibly successful but still did better than it’s developers expected, considering the game wasn’t even advertised. This lead to a sequel. A sequel that sold 1.5 million copies. So what happens when a game sells well? Of course this would lead to Megaman blowing shit up with his arm eight more times, not including various spinoffs, a soccer game, a racing game, a choose-your-own adventure styled PC game, and even a fucking board game.

But What happens when you download a themed M.U.G.E.N. screenpack from a respectable website, toss a bunch of characters from two completely different projects that don’t mesh into it, slap some extra characters in there just for the hell of it, and then try to pass the whole thing off as the original project that the screenpack is based on?

You get almost every M.U.G.E.N. “game” ever, but in this instance you get “Megaman: Robot Master Mayhem”, a lazy mess that doesn’t even have the decency to at least go into the settings and deactivate the Debug Mode functions before being uploaded to the Internetocom as a working game. Looking through the “game’s” files (the “creator” was too lazy to even Molebox the project before uploading it), we can see that they couldn’t even be bothered to remove the readme file with installation instructions that came with the screenpack. Also, I notice two things in the character files. First, Kung-Fu Man (the default “template” character that comes with every fresh copy of the M.U.G.E.N. engine) is still in there, and most of the characters have the suffix “MVC” or “PB” attached. This might not present itself as a problem to the uninformed, but trust me when I say that this is not a good thing. Primarily the “game” borrows heavily (steals) from the ACTUAL Robot Master Mayhem project, and Calamix’s Rockman Power Battles game.

Resizing made the text to small to read. Fuck it.

Before we progress any further, a little bit of backstory might be helpful, as this article does not cover the legitimate Megaman: Robot Master Mayhem M.U.G.E.N. project, which is still in the development process. Announced August 17, 2009 Mega Man: Robot Master Mayhem is the third official project by the Infinity Mugen Team. The project began with the release of the game screen pack and character creation template to help encourage Mugen content creators to participate in the development of this game as well as give the individual Mugen game player the ability to control their own game environment.

The idea of a full Mega Man fighting game was first tossed around by the core members of the IMT back in 2007, but with the Super Marvel vs. Capcom: Eternity of Heroes project still in infancy the idea took a back seat. Now with SMvC:EoH further along in development, the time was right to organize and announce the arrival of a full Mega Man project. Following 2 years of general development time, Mega Man: Robot Master Mayhem began the fist phase of full game development in April 2011 and will include a cast from a wide range of Mega Man favorites.

Once again, laziness is prevalent. On the title screen, in big yellow letters, we see “Based on MVC” This could have been removed with the Backspace Key. No real knowledge required. Considering Calamix’s awful Power Battles characters aren’t MVC styled, we are already being lied to. Before getting into the meat and potatoes of the game, let’s hop into training mode and fool around.

It’s pretty obvious, almost immediately, that this game is mismatched. Even the 9000,1 portraits are funky. The Power Battles characters (most of the roster) are fairly unplayable, and the MVC characters are standard fare. A few noteworthy mentions, however, are a broken and badly Frankensprited Dr. Wily and 8-Bit giant dragon, a pretty sweet but obviously incomplete Vile, that lame Zero who’s been showing up everywhere because he’s currently the only one in M.U.G.E.N., and Final Sigma W.

Let’s talk about Final Sigma W for a minute, as he’s the most game-breaking and humorous thing that I have ever seen. He’s nothing more than Megaman X5 sprites, for starts, and the boss battle music from that game is hard coded into the character. This means that whenever he’s fighting, the stage’s music is still playing, but it being covered by his song. sometimes this leads to funny things happening, but more importantly, it’s a resource whore. When there are more than one Final Sigma W on the screen, you better believe this is happening once for each of them.

Also, his intro animation makes no sense. I don’t speak Korean, or Japanese, or Ebonics, or even proper English, so I have no idea what those text boxes are supposed to be saying, but the damn thing takes like forty minutes. His death animation is also extraordinarily long for no reason. I won’t even bother going over his gameplay, as it’s pretty standard “boss who isn’t supposed to be played by a human” fare. Pretty much hitting random buttons or directions on the joystick makes him do different cheap attacks, and he can’t move around or block like a normal character.

The sense of scale in this game is baffling.

On to Arcade mode. I will be using Roll, as I can’t stand Calamix’s characters, and picking anyone else would completely sap any challenge from this playthrough. First up is Magma Man, who for perfectly sane reasons I fight on a frozen beach. Dear God, it’s like fighting Dizzy in Guilty Gear. This guy has a projectile for EVERYTHING. It is literally impossible for me to move. Fuck this shit, F1 key.

Next up is… Oh. I guess that’s it for Arcade mode. Well THAT’S some bad programming! I like the ending, too. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the stages aren’t tied to individual characters, either, and that’s why I fought Magma Man on Ice Man’s stage. Good job.

“Congrats, yo!”

Let’s check out Survival mode and see some more top notch character design. My first opponent is Freeze Man, who can turn me blue with just a look. Too bad it doesn’t do anything damaging. I outsmart his superior robot A.I. by repeatedly sliding. It’s funny, because he doesn’t have any sprites for lying on the ground, so all he can do is flinch as I hit him with hard knockdowns over and over again.

Next I fight Gemini Man, who likes to double jump and fill the screen with lasers that bounce off of the walls and never go away. Good thing you can’t be hit while in a throwing animation in M.U.G.E.N., because while he may be smart enough to block repeated slides, he isn’t smart enough to stop me from repeatedly walking up to him and throwing him until he dies. Maybe the A.I. isn’t badly programmed, now that I think about it. Perhaps the game is truly paying attention to detail, and trying to emulate Dr. Wily’s style of bot design. I mean, Megaman DID fuck his shit up at least ten times, right?

Split in half and I’ll throw you twice as hard!

I digress. After the strong showings thus far I encounter my first real threat. Ice Man, who also happens to be the first opponent I’ve encountered who wasn’t a direct rip from Rockman Power Battles, was actually sprited and coded by a guy named Excusion. you may know Excursion from such other classic endeavors as Marvel Vs. Capcom: EOH’s Symbiote Onslaught and Galactus. He is also a member of the Infinity Mugen Team, which are the same guys who made the screenpack that was stolen to put this game together, and even some of the characters in this game. In fact, the only GOOD characters in this game were probably IMT creations.

After that I go back to fighting crappy characters, as the super effeminate Jewel Man makes his way to the ring. He doesn’t move throughout the entire fight, instead deciding that eating buster shots repeatedly is a good idea. However, after that I fight Megaman and his incredible levitating dog. Being another MVC styled character, you can already imagine that it’s incredibly disorienting Super Jumping around and fighting on a flat NES styled level that is only one screen tall.

Dr. Light has some interesting new tech.

Fifth I Fight Snow Man, or Retardedly Dressed Ski Man, as he’s known in Japan. He keeps imitating Sonic the Hedgehog and pissing me off, but it’s around this time that I realize that these Power Battle styled characters are made to emulate their original gameplay, and therefore are INCAPABLE of things like blocking. This also means that because blocking is not a part of their gameplay, their attacks aren’t programmed to be blockable. Good thing I’ve been storing up so many bars of Hyper Combo gauge from all of the pushovers I’ve been fighting before. Nothing can survive repeated Rush Drills if it can’t block.

After this things started to get stale, so I’ll spare the audience my pain, but how far did I make it before running into Uber-Cheap Final Sigma W and being annihalated before I could hit a button?

To wrap things up, This game has no reason to exist. In fact, it’s existence is actually a bad thing. The game, while at least thankfully lacking Tekkaman and Robert Garcia, is simply a combination of multiple characters from clashing gameplay and art styles, with no real work put into it aside from a small amount of basic copy-pasting.

For the same amount of work that it took to compile this, you can go to infinitymugenteam.com and download the MVC styled Megaman characters and the Robot Master Mayhem screenpack that this game uses. you can then put a balanced, functioning game together yourself with nothing more than some handy copypasta technique. That’s their idea of a demo or beta, actually. You can then harness the powers of the Googlebot-Robotron and look up a guy named Calamix. After that you can download the M.U.G.E.N. version of Power Battles that he put together if you desire (though I can’t imagine why anyone would want to). You now have two separate games that function like they are supposed to, maximizing your enjoyment and removing the unplayable bullshit like Final Sigma W.

Once again, it’s time for another game to make a journey to my Recycle Bin, but before that…